California election idiocy

If you are a registered voter in California, then you have probably already received your voter pamphlet containing arguments for and against the propositions, as well as statements from candidates for statewide offices. This year’s book is particularly ridiculous, with clear cut nut cases running for office. Not just people whose views are out of the mainstream – but people who are somehow emboldened enough to embarrass themselves in an election. Some of them may have been inspired by the fact that the US recently elected a minor TV celebrity as President. Here are some samples:

John “Jack” Crew | REPUBLICAN.

This guy’s complete statement is “Atrocity of abortion-on-demand must end”. I could sort of understand someone being against abortion, but is that really the only thing that makes you want to be a senator from the state of California? What are you going to do there – just mouth the same words over and over again?


No shit. No party would want this wingnut in their party.

His platform says:Run for God’s Heart and America’s Freedom, Challenge 2016 U.S. Presidential Election results: 2016 U.S. Presidential Election should be nullifed by the U.S. Supreme Court and U.S. should re-hold 45th U.S. Presidential Election; Challenge 10 giant chaos in U.S. Economy and Economy-Related sectors.

Kevin Mottus |REPUBLICAN

This guy’s candidate statement focuses almost exclusively on “the new 5G wireless technology and Internet of Things”. His big concern seems to be that there will be too many towers emitting wireless microwave signals. Does he even have a clue what it means to be a senator???

And then there are the candidates for Governor, starting with:


His total candidate statement is a hashtag: #cesp5. I am not making this up. Here is his candidate photo: 

I’m guessing that he just graduated from High School on the basis of this photo.

Christopher N. Carlson |GREEN

His candidate statement is:
“Teach your children calculus And keep the planet safe Or feathered stones and empty bowls Will also be their fate”


Finally, we have:

Johnny Wattenburg |NO PARTY PREFERENCE

His complete candidate statement is: “Why not!”. Not a question mark, but an exclamation point. Why the fuck not indeed?

You can’t make this shit up. It’s on the California voter guide site. Some people will chalk this up to California being the land of fruits and nuts. That’s undoubtedly part of it. There are some credible candidates in the mix, but there are also some nutcases who manage to get through the system. I’m glad that parties don’t control everything, but I’m hoping that Californians aren’t as stupid as the US at large to elect some nut case to higher office.

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